The Not So Subtle Art Of Being A Teenage Witch
by Geminigypsy521
Summary: Her life is unraveling, that's the only thing she really knows anymore. That- and that her senior year at Spencer is going to be bat shit insane. From sexts, to spells, this is the story of a fabulous fat girl, and how she navigates the magical underworld of Ipswich. Expect lot's of smut, harsh vocabulary and teenage debauchery . Tyler/OC
1. Dizzy

_**A/N: I think I've been wanting to write a Covenant fic since I was twelve. So here it goes, enjoy**_

This whole summer has been a complete…blur.

So it's no surprise that the ride back to Spencer is one too. I watch the trees through the car window. The leaves are starting to turn, and the way the sunset colors merge with the lingering greenery is dizzyingly familiar.

"Are you okay?" It comes from beside me, from my Aunt who's at the wheel of my car. A surge of annoyance bubbles in my stomach. I was as o-fucking-kay as I had been ten minutes ago when she'd asked. "Because you know, you can stay closer to home? Transfer to North Prep" she adds and her voice makes that annoyance turn into guilt.

I've been feeling guilty a lot lately.

"I think I'd rather die" It's dramatic, and callous and her wince makes me want to slap myself "It's full of shitty, pretentious mathletes"

"Thanks, bitch" my little sister, Allyson, chimes from the backseat and Aunt Jenna snaps about watching our language "at least it's not a hundred miles away from civilization"

She's a freshman this year, and I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't bummed about her choosing to go to North instead of coming to Ipswich with me.

It's not even all that far away from home, an hour drive max. I had grown up in Waterton a suburb right outside of Boston. Not exactly inner city, but definitely not small town like Ipswich and Spencer were.

While Lyss seemed to want to stay close to home, I wanted to get as far away from it as I could.

From the cemetery where my mom's body was rotting, from the panic attacks, the memory of it all seemed etched into the walls of my childhood home. Of every corner and street back where I'd grown up.

It sucks, but it is what it is.

"You know Spencer has one of the highest turnover rates to Harvard in the country. I say you just force her to come" Maybe I'm also a little scared of being away, of having none of them around to understand, to empathize.

"So I can be surrounded by a bunch of future lawyer assho- sorry Aunt Gemma- I think I'll pass" The sarcastic fifteen year old sasses from the back seat. I miss being fifteen. I think I do, at least.

The tickle in my stomach, that out of body feeling gets worse as we get nearer to the school. It's like…I'm not going to be Kayleigh anymore. Not the loud little fat girl who knows where to buy the best weed(even though I still totally did), not the girl who almost puked her brains out in biology last year when we dissected fetal pigs.

Nope, I'm going to be Kayleigh, the girl who's mom had died during the summer.

And who'd gotten dumped a month later.

And I've known that was coming for months. Spencer's social web was too connected, everyone knew everything about each other. And as much as I tried to play the "I could care less about what other people think" part, I really wasn't in the mood to be pitied, and questioned and comforted. I'd endured it all break and I wasn't feeling like taking it anymore.

I just wanted everything to go back to normal.

Which was a stupid want; my new normal was anxiety meds twice a day and avoiding relatives I never knew I had.

The mammoth castle of a school comes into view and I breathe through my nose, picking loosely at the fuzzy cotton of my gray cardigan. Here we go.

It's pretty much the same as the years before; going through the security at the front gate, dealing with finding a parking space in the lot in back of the dorm buildings.

My Aunt Gemma tearing up about dropping me off, the tedious trips carting all of my stuff into my new room, the awkward "Hey, how was your summers?" with kids I hadn't seen since may.

 _Well my summer was great, I buried my mom, how about you_

I don't really say that, duh, but I want to. Especially when people tell me they're so sorry for my loss.

I'm in the C dorms this year, along with most of the other senior girls, floor three. Hardest to sneak out of, and fucking Brenda Bergson was the floors DH. She seriously thought she was the next Hillary Clinton. Annoyingest shit ever.

But on the bright side, I was rooming with one of my best friends. Thank the lord for those roommate request forms we'd filled out last spring. The thought of having to share a room with some girl I didn't know, or did know but couldn't stand, made me internally gag.

Mery's already in the room when we get there, the bitch is always early for everything. She always has been, even when we were little she'd show up for play dates ten minutes before she was supposed to. Her shoulder length hair is died a magenta toned red( the last time I saw it, it had been a lavender color) and she's already claimed the bed closer to the bathroom.

"Honey" my aunt coo's to her, nicer then she's ever been to me and I share a look with Allyson as she drops one of my baskets heavily on the floor. Nicer then she'd ever been to her either

Mery had always been like an adopted child to the blond, middle aged woman. To my whole family, really. I'd dragged her home with me at the age of six and she'd been around ever sense. I remember her shaking sobs when I'd told her about my mom, the devastation on her doe like face when she'd rushed over.

I shake the thoughts. I try to.

"Gemma! I missed you" The fiery haired girl hops up and hugs my aunt, sticking her tongue out at me before embracing me too. She's annoying but I love her.

"I've been texting you for like an hour, Arlene and Cassie we're just here, their room is literally like right below us"

"Lucky them, they don't have psycho Brenda as their DH. She's seriously going to be such a pain in the-"

"Hi guys. Hi family" the chirp of a voice makes me choke on the end of my sentence and as a figure sticks their head through the door.

Speak of the devil and she shall appear.

"Brenda, hi" I give her an awkward wave, trying to force my tone to be civil, maybe even friendly. She _had_ let me copy her homework in German last year.

Allyson sitting on the end my bed with her arms folded, her almond eyes rolling.

"I just wanted to pop in, you know, let you guys know the 411" Oh dear fucking lord help her "about this year. I'm down the hall to the left, so you guys come to me if you have any questions or concerns about anything, or if you want to join the DH staff" She's handing us printed copies of the dorm rules, as though we hadn't gotten them in the mail with our schedules and stuff.

"Thank you, sweetie. That's so nice of you" My Aunt says politely.

"Yeah, of course. If you want to like, exchange numbers, there's a new parent outlet group that's starting and I could totally keep you connected" I have to cut her rambling short though.

"Her numbers on school file, I'm sure that Ms. Locklear will be sure to give her a call about all of that" There will be no exchanging of numbers.

She's suspicious but she covers it up with that false sunniness that makes people feel the way they do about her "Yeah you're probably right. Well I'm going to let you guys unpack and stuff…here's my card. Bye girly's" She hands us each a small, rectangle piece of paper before she exists.

She literally has a card. Like a business card. With her name and her number and the extracurricular she's in all in bold, nicely(expensive looking) calligraphy.

"You're fuuuuuuuuucked" It comes from my little sister and my aunt doesn't even tell her to watch her mouth.

Aunt Gemmaof course draws out the goodbyes, like she's done for the last four years. I want to tell her theres a party at the Dells I need to start getting ready for, that I needed to figure out all of the ways I could sneak out of this room. But I don't, I let her smother me. I might even enjoy it a little, bask in the last of it.

I'm walking them out to parking lot, the taxi there taking back home finally in front of the building. This was routine. We'd drive my car up here, full to the brim with all of my things, and then they'd take a cab back home. The fair wasn't cheap, but my family wasn't broke.

It'd been like this since sophomore year(I hasn't had a car freshman); my parents would come and make a huge deal(my grandma would come when she wasn't teaching) and then take a long cab ride home. They tipped the driver generously.

My mom hadn't come last year either though…she was on her latest rehab stint.

"And you'll answer my texts?"

"Yes"

"Promise?"

"Scouts honor" I had been a girl scout in 5th grade. So it was extra honorable.

"And you'll take your medication, and I know it's your senior year so I'm not saying don't drink just don't mix the two. Okay?" She says this lower, more serious.

"I will. I promise" I didn't want to go into a coma or something. And honestly, the idea of death scared the shit out of me.

She grabs my face with both of her hands, and pulls me tight embrace. She's warm, and she smells like Christmas time and it's never been this hard to say goodbye before.

"I love you"

"I love you too"

I hug Allyson just as tight, her big hair brushing my cheeks. She has my moms hair, she looks the most like her.

"If you decide you want to transfer here later in the year, call me" Why is my voice choked? Why do I feel like I want to cry.

"Not going to happen…I'll still call you though"

"I love you Lyss. Tell Savanna I love her too, kay? Keep an eye on her" I was referring to fourteen year old youngest sister who had a nasty knack for trouble and who had refused to come for the 'lame ass drive'

When they get in the taxi, I watch them til I can't see the bright yellow bumper anymore.

 _You're fucked, Allyson's voice rings in my head_

Somehow we all collect in my dorm.

Arlene's sitting Indian style on my bed, half focused on her phone, half holding a conversation with Lilibeth. Her wild, dark curly hair is piled into a bun on the top of her head and her round; elfish features are sparking as she no doubts getting some juicy gossip.

Lilibeth is perched next to Mery, her usual resting bitch face in full force. Flaxen bangs cover her long eyelashes as she dishes about who's on her floor, and how it's bullshit that she has to be roomed with Naveeda Hashir while we all got paired up.

"That's your own fault for not turning in that roommate form thingy last year" Cassie's walking out of the bathroom "Oh my gosh, I fucking knew we shouldn't have stopped at that dollar scoop. I'm dying" She whines as she holds her flat stomach. Unusually flat, because I'd seen murder more than twenty chicken wings at once, she has the metabolism of an Ethiopian Olympian track star.

I have pretty friends, I'd been told before. I'm pretty myself, I'd also been told.

Pretty for a big girl. Pretty enough to date one of the hottest guys on the wrestling team for a half a year, I mean yeah he broke up with me but that had really been my own fault. And although I don't admit to anyone, I'd been more relieved about it then upset.

Pretty enough to have had been texting Tyler Simms all summer.

"Gross, I hope you sprayed frebreeze. I don't know why you couldn't shit in your own room" Mery grimaces and Cassie glares as she uses my lotion, and informs her that she'll shit wherever she pleases.

"What time are we leaving tonight, I think I'm going to meet Jeff down there" Lilibeth inquires, her Samsung in hand, as she obviously texts her boyfriend.

"Inst he like 30? Why is he going to a high school party?" Arlene sounds almost genuinely concerned, well concerned and disgusted. She had a knack for doing that, mixing two opposite emotions in one bitchy sentence.

"Excuse you, he's 26"

"He deserves to be in prison"

"You tried to seduce Mr. Hartonge when you were fifteen, shut the fuck up"

Oh, the joys of being reunited with my friends.

 _I feel abandoned, are you sure you cant come? I miss you_

 _Nah, I'm not even on campus yet. Plus I hate the Dells. Have fun tho, be safe:)_

 _Fine. Talk to you later, loser_

I'm texting Eric about how much of a buzz kill he is. I hadn't seen him since the funeral, I'd known he wasn't going to come tonight though...not with how shaky and unsettled everything was from last year.

We managed to escape the dorms, and are currently dolled up piled into Arlene's car, on our way towards the bonfire.

"Jesus fuck, Arlene chill out" I glare from the backseat as she whips her range rover fast as shit around one of the cliff edges.

"I've got it, it's fine. Do you guys remember freshman year when we drove up here in Lilibeths grandmas Buick?" the curly headed driver sniggers at the end and I shake my head, not able to keep the grin off my face at the memory of us three years younger with bad eyeliner, vomiting Mad Dog 20/20 through our noses.

"We're lucky we didn't die" Lilibeth deadpans as she passes me back the backwood's rolled blunt.

"I seriously thought your dumbass was going to drive off one of the cliffs" she shoots at Cassie who's sitting beside me reapplying her(my) lipstick.

"Umm, It was your grandmas stolen car, I don't know why I was the one who had to drive home in the first place" Cassie's long, silken straight dark hair gets flicked over her shoulder.

I hit the cherried blunt once. Twice. Three times

I couldn't really say I was excited for this party. Even though we're seniors and I should be beyond hyped. We'd been waiting for this since we were fifteen.

But I was still dreading seeing all of my fellow classmates. Spencer was a fucking fishbowl.

 _Hey, Kayleigh , I'm so sorry about your dead mom/_

My heart does its little flutter thing and my anxiety starts to swell at the thought of dealing with tonight.

"Okay, smoke the whole thing why don't you" Mery says from my other side and I numbly hand her the spliff. She takes it with one hand, runs my thigh with the other.

She had this weird way of knowing me and my responses better than I did. Guess that's what happens when you've known someone since you were in kindergarten. It really does kind of help until I we hit that sea of parked cars.

Here we fucking go.

The bonfires seems to be bigger then I remember more people than any of the years before. Or maybe I just hadn't been hyper aware of everything before. People are dancing, half naked by the fire and I internally snort. It's too cold for that fuckery, the September air already has a nasty bite to it.

I'm standing next to Arlene and Cassie, chatting about noting. Laughing about, and at, people we hadn't seen since last may.

Lilibeth had been stolen away by her way too old for her boyfriend and Mery had gone to talk to some weird Asian kids over by the sound system.

"Okay should we go retrieve her? Those people look sketchy as fuck" Arlene's judgey tone isn't as harsh as you would think it would be.

I look over at the boys who surround Mery. They're like break dancing in the sand I cough on a laugh and shake my head. Hell nah.

We socialize a little too, mostly just with our circle of friends.

I've never been shy, and only now do I realize how many people at this stupid school I actually know.

Honestly it's not as bad as I thought it would be, at least not so far. Jannet, a girl we've known since middle school does tell me that she's there whenever I need to talk, and Edwin, a guy in our group of friends hugs me too tight and keeps his arm slung over my shoulder for a little too long but other than that I don't want to blow my brains out.

"I'm going to go get another drink" I yell over the sound of the bumping electronic music.

"I'll come with you?" it's from Cassie and it's more of a question then anything. She's pressed close Kevin, her boyfriend, and I really don't need a baby sitter.

"No, I'm good. I'll be right back though" I reassure before I'm maneuvering my way through the writhing bodies of people partying.

Way, way, more packed then usual I think to myself irritated as some drunk girl stumbles and bumps into me. I ignore her slurred sorry and bite my tongue, keeping my rude comment in check as I continue on my journey for another cup of that vodka mix stuff I had gotten when we first arrived.

"Kayleigh! Hey girl" I run into Kate Tunney as I'm making my way back with my drink, she's accompanied by a blond girl I've never seen before.

"Kate! It's good to see you, how was Maui?" I hug the taller girl. I'd always gotten along with Kate, and we'd actually been partners in Chemistry last year. Yeah she could be a little catty, but then again so could I.

"It was amazing, most beautiful trip of my life I'm not even kidding. You? Your tan looks killer" And I appreciate that even though I KNOW she knows she was one of the biggest gossips at school), she doesn't bring it up.

"Eh, it was alright and right? I found this new tanning lotion that is no joke sent from god" I reply and both girls laugh, I look at the blond and smile, silently and discretely (I hope) judging her outfit choice. I bet that crop top wasn't as good of a choice as she thought back home and that she was freezing her tits off. Newbie.

"Kayleigh, this is my new roommate, Sarah. She just transferred in" Kate finally introduces us and Sarah gives me a little hug as she says hi and I even though I secretly hate hugs from random people I play along nicely.

"It's really nice to meet you, I'm Kayleigh"

"Same, it's cool to meet new people, you know. Since I don't really know anyone here yet" and I decide I might like her.

"Definitely get that. Just be careful, some of the bitches here are vicious" I warn as I take a drink out of the red cup and make a face. This mix was waaay stronger. The vodka overpowering the cranberry juice in a super unpleasant way.

"Right? I was just giving her the lowdown on everyone here"

"Okay yeah, where were you?"

"Aaron Abbot is a total piece of trash who treats his girlfriends like dirt" Kate asses as we look at the couple across from us. As per usual Lira's hanging on Aaron who's paying more attention to the girls shaking their ass to the music.

"He gave a whole group of sophomore's chlamydia last year. He knows where to get good ecstasy though" I shrug. I mean I know it's bad that he treats Kira like crap, but she allows it so that's on her.

"Ooh, who's that?" Sarah points out that hot new guy, and we all ogle for a minute too long. He's good looking. But the vibe that he gives off…I don't know... He's still hot though.

"He's new here too, hot a shit huh?"

Sarah gives a wholesome mmhmm and Kate gives me a look, waggling her arched eyebrows playfully.

"Right? I don't know much about him but I intend to find out" That's why I get along with Kate. She likes to play.

"I'm sure Pouge's going to love that" I shoot at her; she is still dating the biker. She just shrugs.

We're only talking for like two minutes before I see them. Well I hear them first kind of, people hollering greetings as they make their entrance.

I can't help the long eye roll.

"They're here" Kate sounds too excited for a girl who had just two seconds ago been more than down to go f*ck with that new guy.

"Who are they?" the slightly wondrous tone of Sarah's voice makes me laugh, and I know it sounds bitter.

Don't get me wrong, I had no problems with the Sons. And I was well aware of how hot they all were, but it was more than annoying the glorification they all received. It fed those larger than life ego's they all had.

"The sons of Ipswich" Kate informs her, as though their the Kennedy's or something

But I also cant deny that flutter in my stomach.

"Hi, Caleb" Kate barley acknowledges him before jumping into Pouge's arms. Gag gag gag gag.

"Kate" His voice is so deep it's ridiculous. "Kayleigh, good to see you"

I give him a short hug, Caleb had always been decent. Like I mean he still knew he was the golden boy of the town and wore it around like a badge but he could be really chill.

"Same" I'm doing the rounds. That's what parties were right?

Making the rounds, saying hi to everyone.

I wave at Pouge who's being vice held by Kate, give Reid a halfhearted side hug(he's a douche most of the time and he'd made up a rumor that I was albino freshman year. Seriously. I was the albino one when he looked like he crawled out of a Bram Stokers novel) and then there was Tyler.

The reason for that stomach flutter back there.

He was just too pretty, and after he'd gone on a liking spree on my instagram( okay he only liked four pictures but still) we'd been texting pretty heavily. Flirting hard, soft core sexting occasionally.

"Hey, Kayleigh" He leans down squeeze me and it's weird to feel his solid body after messaging for so long. Awkward.

Reid and Caleb both hit on Sarah which doesn't surprise me, she's hot and Arlene finally finds me.

"You just disappeared, bitch. You left me to third wheel Cass" She snaps, her curls bouncing as she glares.

She goes through the rounds too, more shy then me though. She'd never really liked Kate...she liked her boyfriend though that's for sure.

She also knows about my and Tyler's cyber friendship and I can feel her awareness and it makes me tip my cup up to keep cool. I'm about ready to tell her lets go find the rest of our friends when Kira literally pushes her way in front of Sarah, between the new blond and Caleb.

"Hi Caleb. How was your summer?" Her voice is so venomous. She looks like a porcelain doll, the way her makeup is done.

Me and Arlene share a look before I continue chugging and she looks uncomfortable and looks away(she deals with conflict really crappily) Everyone knows Caleb dated the red head all of freshman year.

Kira always did love to stir up drama. She was a major bitch and not in the fun way.

Tyler's baby blues are twinkling with amusement at Caleb's tense reply's. I might keep sneaking looks at him.

It's when Kira turns to Sarah is when we all know it's about to go down.

The vicious red head makes a sharp comment about Sarah transferring in from Boston. From public school and I look at Kate, wondering if she's going to save her friend.

Caleb does it instead "Why don't you give it a rest. Kira"

"Why don't you give it a rest" And I take a step back as Aaron jumps in, the confrontation clear on his face. I'm so not down for this, no matter how amusing it all is.

Aarons lame ass lackeys are right behind him and Reid perks up, Tyler following suit.

And Arlene and I are trapped in a sandwich of testosterone.

"Oh shit" Arlene mouths to me. Oh shit indeed.

"I don't want any trouble, Aaron" Caleb's attempting to defuse, but with Reid and Aaron, and Bordy in the mix I don't think there's going to be any diffusing.

"I'm sure you don't" Aaron puffs out his chest and the slang in his voice makes me have to avoid looking at him to keep from laughing. Could he get anymore white?

Someone says something about posers, and Reid launches forward. Caleb's arm goes in front of him as Tyler's discreetly goes in front of me, pushing me and Arlene a little farther back. She of course notices and gives me a shit eating grin to which I pretend I didn't see.

"I think you owe Kira an apology" Aaron states and I I can't stop the snigger. He was the only one who owed his desperate girlfriend an apology.

"No, I think Kira owes Sarah the apology" And Caleb's starting to get roweled up, I can hear it in his voice. His tone isn't so cordial anymore.

It gets physical fast, Aaron pushing him hard in the chest and honestly I'm not down for this high school boy drama.

The new guy, Chase, jumps in the middle though. And the curiosity keeps me watching, waiting for him to show his allegiance.

"C'mon" Arlene pulls but I just give her a finger, signaling for her to wait a minute.

It still looks like it's going to turn into a fist fight until Bordy starts projectile vomiting. Like some exorcist shit , all down the back of Aarons jacket.

"Ugh, what the hell is wrong with you, Bordy. You fucking idiot" Arlene exclaims as we all move fast to avoid the spew.

It's funny, it's disgusting...but it's mostly super weird. Hadn't he just said something about, and I quote "Posers making him want to puke?"

Maybe I was just high but it all feels weird, like dejavu, except not...

"Dyl just called, he said he saw three cop cars heading this way on old dell road" the music is cut short as it's announced over the speakers and I'm not scared, because these parties always get broken up by the cops, but I'm alert.

"Let's go find our friends" Arlene orders, grabbing my hand as we start to make our way through the scattering crowds.

"Bye Kate, Bye Sarah" we pass them quickly. Kate says something about meeting up soon and I tell her to text me.

I deliberately don't say bye to Tyler. That's always been my MO, the more you ignore boys the more they want attention. I hoped, stupidly, that that would be the case with him too.

Were two of the shortest people there we walk through the rushing partiers, eyes peeled for our friends.

"Dude, he was totally checking you out and that arm thing oh my god" Arlene says as she pulls me in the opposite direction of some puking guy. I'd had enough with puke for the rest of the school year.

"Not ugh shut up" but the thought makes my insides warm up a little "Really? That was just him being a cinnamon roll"

It'd been so much easier to talk and flirt with him over texts. It hadn't really felt like he was into me at all back there.

"Yes, are you stupid? I don't know why you were all rude to him though"

"I wasn't rude" Was I? " I was just responding to how I was being-" my explanation gets cut short though, not that she was listening, because we see Cassie and Mery waving us over. It's hard to jog over, especially with the chunky heeled booties I have on through the roots and bushes that line the forest floor. This was my least favorite part; the walk back to the car.

"Where's Lili?" I question, scanning the faces and not finding her in them.

"She went with Jeff, where were you guys?" Cassie asks and I grab a very drunk Merys arm and lead her through the forest, like some sort of teenage fairytale. Me and Arlene gush about how we'd almost witnessed a brawl back by the bonfires.

"That's cray. Kira's such a snobby c*nt" Cassie shakes her head.

"It's so creepy out here. It looks like a zombie apocalypse up in this bitch. Doesn't it, Kay? Look like a zombie apocalypse?" Merys wasted, but she manages to keep walking with my assistance. It does look kind of eerie, the fog catching on the headlights of fleeing cars, it slices through the trees. The kids winding to their cars look like shadows, almost inhuman.

"Oh my god these stupid freshman. Move" Arlene growled at one as they almost ran straight into us. "Like seriously if you're under the age of fifteen you need to stay your ass at home"

We manage to get Mery shoved into the back of the Arlenes Rover and just before I go to hop in I see a familiar Jeep. And a familiar face in the driver's seat.

Why is Tyler Simms so hot?

I think to myself as he smiles and give me a nod, his chin jutting out in acknowledgement and I just give him a small smirk, trying to be way cooler then I am before slide into the back seat. Of course I mess up my footing and stumble and kind of tumble into the seat instead.

The mortification I feel is painful and I want to go back to the dorms and slit my wrists ( dramatic, but I'm also seventeen so fitting right?)

"Drive Curly, Drive" I command as I lean all the way forward, through the front window and grab Cassie's shirt, telling Kevin he could have her back later and to have a good night.

"Okay, spaz what's wrong" Cassie glowers as Arlene begins to drive off. She's also chucking cruely and I mentally categorize her into the betrayal folder.

"She busted ass into the car in front Tyler back there" Arlene laughs, pausing only to yell her rage at the people in front of us "Can't drive for shit, pathetic, pieces of poop"

"How do you even fall into a car?" I shoot her a the Cass a look "I saw him back at the beach when we first got there. He looks super good this year. Like seriously I think he finally went through puberty. It looks good on him"

"Good for him, he's always had a jawline like a mother fuckerthough" Mery chimes, and I hope she sobers up on the ride. She currently has her head comleatly stick out of the window, her hair licks like flames in the wind.

"Right? Ugh don't you just want to sit on it?" I respond, before telling Cassie we should smoke that other blunt.

"What about that new guy? He's hot as balls oh my god" Arlene adds as we finally hit the main road.

"He is, he's weird though huh? Who just jumps int a fight like that?"

"I don't know, maybe he's just a really good guy"

"Guys that hot aren't really good guys"

And I know I'm right.

When we get back to the dorms, we leave Arlene and Cassie on the second floor and then try to slink passed cazy Brenda's room and into our own door.

"-and you know what, I think I'm going to learn to break dance, and then I'll have the coolest party skill ever. Just like, busting out moves and blowing minds and shit" Mery's still wasted and I've shushed her probably a dozen times.

I gawk at her. I should record this shit so I can play it for her in the morning so she can feel as ashamed for herself as I do right now.

Managing to get her into the room, and into her bed.

"You're eyes look like mint chocolate chip ice cream and you smell like sunshine" she informs me while I'm taking off her boots "Your mom smelled like sunshine too, huh?"

"Yeah, Mer, go to sleep"

My phone twings from inside my purse and I reach over one handed to dig through my purse and grab it while tucking her into bed, moving all the pillows that she could smother herself with away from her face.

 _Tyler- It was good to see u tonight. Why are you so cute?_

The blue text bubble on the bright screen of my iPhone makes my middle lurch and my teeth clamp my lips together. I'd felt this a lot during the duration of our little cellular romp.

I shimmy out of the ripped jeans I'd worn all night and got into bed, still staring at the message on screen. A thousand replies buzzing in my head.

 _You too, sweet dreams Tyler_

With a couple emoji's of course, and then I put it face down on the bedside dresser, a ritual of mine, and try to tuck myself into the still bare mattress, hoping to dream about sitting on a certain dark haired boys perfect face.

 _ **Give me some feedback! This story will be updated frequently so there'll be a new chapter up soon.**_


	2. Bar Fights and Dick Pics

_**Here's another almost six thousand word chapter! I just want to address the way this story is written. I'm trying to write from my characters perspective. She's a seventeen year old girl so there will be slang and immaturity throughout the story. She's also dealing with mental illness and I want to make that clear, so her anxiety disorder and OCD will be frequently and realistically brought up a lot during the story. Thanks for taking the time to read this, guys!**_

 _I can't breathe, it's worse than a panic attack, worse than anything I've ever experienced. I can feel my pulse all over my body, fear rolls over me in paralyzing waves. Violated, that's what I feel. Hands all over me, inside of me. Like someone's trying to force something onto me. Like I'm being hunted. And I can't run or hide, my feet are made of sand and there's dust in my eyes. I hear screaming, and chanting. Why am I chanting? How do I know every foreign word, how can I feel them resonate somewhere deep in my subconscious. I can feel every atom, taste every vibration_

 _Then the chanting stops, and I know its hit it's pentacle. And something, me, a part of me, a big chunk has been taken away_. _A whole is punched in my chest, in my soul._

The pain of it all rockets me into a sitting position as I jerk awake and my eyes try to focus in the dark room.

I put one hand on my chest and the other on my stomach, attempting the yoga breaths that my doctor had been so adamant about.

And they might have worked.

Maybe, had I not turned my head and saw something that caused me to scream so loud, so rough that it I could feel it rip from my throat.

The ghostly, demonic face seemed to float right next to my bed, and it was still before it reached for me opening its mouth, and then blackness engulfed its entire being, leaving a flume of charcoal smoke in its place and the wails I'm releasing are so loud, so violent that they're mute.

My eyes snap open, a second time and I don't know what's real. I don't know if I'm still dreaming. Am I still screaming? I shakily sit up and look over, at Mery's sleeping lump in her bed.

I scan the room for a few minutes, tense and sure that I'm about to be attacked by that ghost, demon thing I had just dreamt about again. That dream inside of my dream.

It takes me reaching over into the dresser and popping a Xanax into my mouth, swallowing it dry, to relax me enough to lay back flat, and try to get back to sleep. My whole body's still on edge though, and I watch the colors of the sunrise turn from purple to bright yellow through the blinds.

I don't get back to sleep, every time I close my eyes I see the darkness that had swallowed that…things face.

"Yes.

No,

Mery's half dead. I think she's been hung over for like, 16 hours,

Her fault, yep. Tequila

Yes, I got her Gatorade

I've been gone for less then week, calm down

Yes, I'm okay. It was just a weird dream, it's fine. I'm not going to have a psychotic break okay?

Mmhmm

I'm going to drive out in a few weekends,

I promise"

As I'm bartering with my aunt over the phone, trying to balance the grocery bags and the Starbucks tray I see none other than Tyler Simms across the court yard, walking away from some other guy on the swim team.

My stomach drops. Am I excited or terrified? I'm not really sure.

I hadn't talked to him since Friday night, after the party at the dells. Those texts, if that really even qualified as talking.

He's alone which is kind of weird because you never see him without one of the other guys. I mean yeah, he's his own person but still...where's the blond pole that's always attached at his hip?

My aunt's squawk through the speaker makes me reenter reality.

"No I'm okay I just dropped my keys" I snap my eyes away from him, not wanting to get caught staring, but willing him to look over, to see me and stare back.

When he finally seems to notice me I look up and our eyes meet, he grins and turns from the path he's on, coming closer to mine.

"Hi" I mouth to him as he approaches the phone still pressed between my shoulder and ear.

"Hey" He whispers as I hold up a finger.

"Okay, I love you but I have to go. And yes, Aunt Gemma, drunk on wine is still drunk. I'll call you later byeee"

He's chuckling at the exchange and I purse my lips to resist smiling.

"I love her to death but she smothers the life out of me" I go in for a hug and he squeezes me around all of the stuff I have in my arms "but how are you?"

"I'm alright, coach is already busting my balls and school hasn't even started yet, but I'll live. You? Stocking up for the next nuclear war?" He jokes "Here, give me some of those" He reaches for the bags and instead of some he takes all. I pretend to protest, you know, feminism and equality and all that? But I'm more then relieved to pawn them off on him.

"Thanks" I say, as I start to lead us towards my building "I probably should, you know North Korea's gonna' get sick of our shit soon. But no, I'm just getting everything ready for tomorrow and trying to make sure Mery doesn't die." he shoots me a look "she's been hung over for like two days. But I mean she asked for it. She knows tequila isn't her friend"

"From friday? That sucks. I remember I got alcohol poisoning from downing a half a bottle of Patron the dells in tenth grade. I literally thought I was going to die" I can hear the sympathy and humor twine in his voice.

"Te-KILL-ya" He sniggers at that as we start to take the stairs.

"It was a bummer I only saw you for like ten minutes on Friday" He accuses and the idea of him caring about it at all makes me giddy...giddy in silence.

"Yeah I'm sorry, I was kind of all over the place. But those ten minutes were lit" I snort.

"Always. At least you didn't get any puke on you" I shake my head and laugh, shooting him a face.

"Yeah, highlight of my night, not getting vomited on...it just sucks. We could have had… _fun… has_ it not gotten crashed" I look up at him; I can feel my eyes go doe shaped and mischievous. He knows exactly what kind of fun I mean. I don't know where the boldness is coming from. I mean we had talked like this through messages but never in person. And for a second I kind of regret it. I'm scared to look at him.

"Damn, I missed out. We could still have fun though" He croaks and feel excitement like electricity through my body.

We've reached the door to my room and I lean against a little, looking up again.

"Oh really? Who says I want to have fun with you anymore, though" I'm playing with him, teasing and testing.

"Don't be like that" His voice is silvery and his eyes are almost too intense to look at. "Come to Nicky's tonight"

"Mmm, I don't know. Who's all going to be there?" I turn away from him and dig through the Michael Kors bag that slung across my chest for my keys, and stick them in the lock. I can't help it, teasing is my main form of flirting. And f*ck was I flirting with Tyler. Or at least trying to.

"Everyone. Me. And you can watch me kick everyone's ass at pool"

I smile and suck my teeth as I open the door.

"I'll think about it" but my attempt to be slick and sexy is cut short by the sound of the groaning and moaning of my roomate. "Did you get me a latte? Because you fucking promised me a latte"

Tyler's blue gray eyes are dancing. And I really don't know how someone can be so attractive.

"I'm going to go before she drowns on her own saliva or something" as I reach for my bags and he transfers them back into my hands.

"Alright. So I'll see you at Nicky's then?"

"No"

"Really?"

"No" but the smile I give him says yes."Bye Ty" And I close the door, and bite my lips together to keep from squealing. Oh my god, oh my gooood.

"Who was that?" Mery's sitting up against her headboard, looking like microwaved shit. Her skins gotten its color back but her eyes are bagged and her fuchsia hair was a rats nest; pointing in all directions. I almost felt bad for her.

But she never got hangovers so I felt like this one was her collective hang over from all the drinking she'd done since we were thirteen.

"Tyler" I hand her the coffee, and the paper bag with a bagel inside of it.

"Like, Simm's Tyler?" She says around a big drink.

"Dude yes, he fucking invited me to Nicky's tonight" I sit on my bed, bouncing a little.

"Like a date?"

And that makes me think...I really don't know. I really hope not. I just wanted to have fun. To play. Not to date.

"No, just to hang out I think. I mean he didn't even say he'd pick me up or anything, just that I should go tonight"

"Okay the fact that you're so happy about it not being a date is so sketch. You're a sociopath" She tells me as she begins to rebury herself in her comforter.

"Take some more Asprin and take a shower. You stink and we're going out tonight" I'm already texting the rest of the girls.

Like I was going to show up at Nicky's alone.

Lilibeth had bugged out because of Jeff, and Cassie hadn't shut up about it since I'd told her back at the dorms.

"It's just really weird, dont you think? Like I swear to god one of these days she's going to just drop off the face of the earth and you know what? It's going to be because Jeff's creepy ass abducted her" Cass rants as from the driver's seat and I bite on a chuckle as I take a long drag from the pipe. That's why she hadn't messaged the brunette back. Cassie had a tendency to…mom.

"That's a little dramatic" Mery chirps from the backseat. I'd forced her wash her ass and brush her hair and she looks pretty much recovered.

"Really? Because I didn't see her all summer did you? And what about her girl, interrupted stunt?"

"That was crazy bullshit, her mom showed up at my house with the cops, like how did she even get my address? Isnt that some kind of HIPPA violation? Giving peoples addresses to the public"

I stop myself from calling her a dumbass and asking her if she even knew what Hippa laws were.

"Okay, you guys were totally cool with him back when he sold us that eightball for 90 bucks" I can't help but throw in sarcastically. We'd been coked out for days and no one had seemed to hate him then.

I pass the Cassie the pipe though, to make the reply less sharp, not in the mood to fight about it.

"Well when we find her dead in a ditch with her drug dealer boyfriend, I'm going to be the first one to tell you guys how much ya'll slacked as friends" She says as I lift the pipe to her lips and light it for her so that she doesn't have to take her hands off the wheel.

Everyone dies, I don't ruin their vibe by saying it out loud though.

Nicky's is packed as hell, blustering and loud. The music blaring, students and townies and teenagers and skeevy looking old dudes.

Breathing deeply, I tell myself not to think about it too hard. To keep cool.

I tell myself that a lot lately, near constantly.

"Fuck me, no way were finding a table" Arlene is scanning the back, restaurant area for an empty table for us, and I'm scanning the congested place for a tall head of dark hair.

Low key-ly as possible though of course, not in the mood for their teasing and battering.

It really is too packed to find a completely vacant table and as we squeeze through the people I kind of regret loading that second bowl back in the parking lot. We should have come in earlier

"All I want are some cheesy tots, Jesus Christ" The curly haired girl whines as she maneuvers around groups of people, glaring up at them.

Life's hard when you're a group of girls under 5'5.

"All I want is a shot of tequila" Cassie adds, as she waves over at a few classmates. Mery makes a gagging sound and a comment about not talking about the devil while she was around.

I see Kate and Sarah sitting at a table, and the table behind them is more than half empty. Perfect and it has nothing to do with the fact that Tylers probably somewhere close.

I'm so pathetic.

"Ew no" Arlene mouths frenzied, but we're already headed in that direction.

"There's like nowhere else, suck it up babe" Cassie swings an arm over the kinky haired girls shoulders.

"Hey" Kate stands up to hug me, and then Mery, and then Cassie...and then a forced Arlene.

I couldn't really remember why she hated Kate. I couldn't really care either though,

I wave to Sarah, shrugging off my jacket and slinging it and my bag onto to a chair.

"It's so packed here tonight it's ridiculous" Kate and I chatter, Arlene and Cass have gone up to the bar to get food.

A few snapchat pictures and me giving her shit about Chase after she told me they'd gone to the movies, just themselves, after Sarah had ran off with Caleb and I'm antsy, wanting to go find the reason I was there in the first place.

"You okay, babycakes?" Because Mery is leaning her head on her arm, taking small drinks of her 7up every now and then.

"I swear I can smell that girl at the bars margarita" I feel her pain, I hadn't been able to be in a ten mile radius of anything grape since I'd guzzled a bottle of grape vodka and blacked out a few years ago.

"I'm going to go and get me self an Iced Tea because those hoes are taking way too long" I was really going to go find Tyler, and pretend I didn't see him until he came and begged for my attention. Well that was the plan at least.

"Uh huh, you have fun with that" the artificially red head says monotony, calling my bluff.

I take the long way around the bar, towards the pool tables. That's where he said he'd be, right? Beating everyone's ass at pool. I spot Caleb and Chase the new kid playing foosball and shoot Caleb a half smile…but look away quick as Chase gives me a cheery, toothy, grin.

For some reason, I start thinking about that dream again…about the feeling. And the chanting and the raping. I'm thinking so much, lost in my head that I'm to the pool tables and almost in front of Tyler, and Reid and Pouge before I even really register it.

Fuck. There goes my plan. They've already seen me and I force a smile as Tyler perks up waves me over.

Maaan, he was the one who was supposed to come to me. I'm making my way towards them begrudgingly, my knee high black boots clacking against the hardwood floor when I hear my name.

Or a variation of my name, that is.

"K Bear" I know who it is instantly because only one person other than my family had ever really called me that. I look for the owner of the voice and my eyes focus on Eric starting to stand from a bar stool, his friendly sorrel eyes and thick eyebrows full of expression and warm, his lanky body language inviting.

"Eric" I draw out excited as he embraces me with long, flannel coved arms.

Fuck I missed him.

"Finally, I was starting to think I'd never see you again" I chastise as we pull away, and it comes out a little less soft then I'd meant for it too. I'd missed him. I'd missed my best friend.

Yes, I had the girls, and yes they were also my best friends. But it had always been different with Eric. He was my brother, my platonic soul mate. He accepted, no he dug for the darkness and bad in me and made me feel like it had never really been all so bad in the first place.

"I know, I'm sorry, I really did just get here earlier"

"You've been here for hours?"

"I was unpacking"

"I hate you"

"I missed you too"

"What are you doing here? I love the way you didn't even invite me" I take one of the fries off his plate.

"I was about to message you, and I don't even really know why I'm here" I notice the red in his retinas "It was spur of the moment"

"How high are you?" And the grin he gives in response is all the answer I need.

I'm trying to focus on Eric, I really am, but I can't stop my eyes from drifting.

Tyler's lining up the pool stick to sink a ball. His body curves and angles in such a hypnotizing way. His smile and eyes are so care free, yet focused. The green army jacket he has on contrasts nice with the paleness of his skin and the dark of his hai-

"You still talking to him?" Eric teases as he shoots me a look. "Or just staring at him like a creep"

"No, jerk, I'm talking to him. Kinda. He's the one who told me to come tonight" And Eric's smart enough to not ask if it was a date or not. He knew my boy policy, my view on relationships.

"Then stop being so fucking creepy and staring at him and go over there"

"I'm not staring at him, Eric"

"He's staring at you too so it's okay"

"Oh yes, shut up"

But I know he is or at least I hope he is. I steal a few more fries off of Eric's plate and warn him that if he leaves without saying goodbye I'm going to kill him and then I'm back towards the pool tables.

Tyler's really not as intimidating as I make him out to be in my head. I mean yeah he's way too hot for me to be totally comfortable with him, especially when I think back on some of the texts he's sent me, but he's friendly. Open.

"Kayleigh, you down to play winner?" His toothy smile is inviting and if I knew I wouldn't make a total fool of myself I'd go for it.

"Yeah, fuck no. I suck at pool"

"Come on, it's easy. It's kind of like physics. I'll teach you" he offers, as he sinks another ball and Reid bitches about him taking easy shots.

"It's a skills game, you know confidence" Reid adds "You've got to know you're going to win"

He's got to know he sounds like a total tool most of the time.

"If you say so. I wasn't blessed with any hand eye coordination though so I suck at games like this. Except for when I'm drunk" And since Nicky had a policy on not getting arrested for selling liquor to minors, there was no liquid courage around.

Tyler reaches across the table and offers me a glass mug of what looks like coke. I shake my head, telling him I don't drink soda, but he persists.

"It's mostly Jack Daniels so you're good" I take it then, taking a small sip and wincing. He wasn't kidding.

"How did you guys-"Reid flashes me a small shot bottle in his pocket and I take another sip. Idiots.

When I'm buzzed, the loudness of the bar doesn't affect me so much and I'm laughing harder then I should be. The way that Tyler and Reid talk to each other, and other people, would make any sober, sane person a little uncomfortable but just makes it easier for me to be around them. They've long moved on from playing each other and have been going head to head with Aaron and a few of his lackeys for more than a few games.

Winning them all.

"You're such a little bitch, get your elbow off the table" Reid shoots at Aaron and I shake my head. Eventually, with the way their all talking to each other, it's going to be round two of the fight from Friday night.

Why are all men such little boys?

Tyler and I have shared almost the entire mug of secret alcohol and when he tries to hand it to me again I shake my head.

"I'm really not trying to be hungover on our first day back" speaking of, it's close to ten pm and I know my friends will be wanting to leave soon. I just kind of wanted to drag Tyler away from the game of pool, to be alone for a while. He had been the one who invited me here and he hadn't paid any real attention to me since I'd gotten here. It's whiny and girly but I can't help but feel it.

"One more game and then we'll go see what the guys are doing? You suck at foosball too?" it's like he read my mind.

"No, that I can whoop your ass at" I tease and he shakes his head and takes his turn. The ball sinks and he blows a kissy face at an already seething Aaron.

I'm checking my phone when it all seems to escalate, just like I knew it would. I'd only looked away for two seconds.

"Get over yourself, I made the shot. Pay up" Reid's arrogant voice demands.

"I'm not paying you shit, there's no way you could have made that shot clean. This is why I don't play with snakes" Aaron sounds like a sore loser.

"Or you just can't play pool. A bet's a bet. Take the L and get over it" Tyler's a jovial prick. The way he talks to Aaron like he's his superior, that smile never fading off his face shows that side of him that I think a lot of people didn't see.

Baby boy could be just as much of an asshole as his friends.

Aaron again decides to throw around his weight and shoves himself hard into Reid's chest. I'm really hoping Reid will knock him one so the Aaron will stop thinking its okay to try and get physical with people every time he has a temper tantrum.

Tyler has maneuvered himself in front of me and I'm glaring at the whole scene from behind his shoulder.

"God can you guys just pay each other and stop being little pussies about it" alcohol always did take away my filter.

"Stay in your lane, Kayleigh" Bordy warns me.

"Fuck you" "Fuck off, Bordy" Me and Tyler say over each other at the guy and its getting way too heated. My adrenaline is starting to spike. Reid shoves Aaron back and a pitcher falls on the hardwood and shatters, seeming to spark the intensity even more.

When Aaron retaliates, launching himself at Reid it knocks both me and Tyler over and I the air is knocked out of me as I struggle to keep my footing. Tyler's arm swings out to push me to the side, away from the flailing limbs and hustling bodies.

Fights are always fast, and its being broken up and pushed outside before it's even really started. Caleb and Pouge approaching out of nowhere, backing up the situation.

"You good?" Pouge looks back at me and I nod, pushing sandy blond locks away from my face and taking a deep breath. My collar bone throbbed a little from the elbow it had caught.

I feel hands on my shoulders and realize their Eric's, he's seen the whole thing from his spot at the bar. I can vaguely hear him asking me if I'm okay, pulling me in the opposite direction. It's all so dramatic.

"Kayleigh!" It's Tyler, his head bobbing up high above the others in an attempt to see me. We'd been separated in the rush of it all. It's sick but I get off on the worry in his tone.

"I'm fine" I yell back to him, but I'm being pulled back towards the tables and he's being forced out of the back door. I'm smart enough not to follow him.

"Eric I'm fine, it's fine" I'm getting sick of saying it. Jesus, everyone's acting like I, or anyone had just gotten socked. It was a bitch fight, they'd done nothing but push each other. I'm more worried about what's going on out back, and about the fact that Nicky's probably going to be calling the cops soon.

I grab Tyler and Reid's abandoned things from the pool tables; both of their jackets, Reid's phone and Tyler's keys.

"Nothing even happened, Aaron was just being a bitch about losing, I swear" I'm explaining to him, my arms full, and I can see my girlfriends rushing over. Great.

After five minutes of being asked 160 questions and pretty much replying 'it's fine' to all of them, the boys start coming back into the bar. My eyes are peeled.

It's Aaron and Bordy and the rest of that group of assholes first and I glare icily at them, wanting to cuss them out but not wanting to re-escalate things. They're kicked out of the bar as soon as they're in.

A couple minutes later Reid storms in, Tyler quick after him. The blond looks pissed and he scans the pool table, and then looks over as I call their names. I hold up his jacket and he comes to me, snatching it and holding out his hand for his phone.

He's covered in glass shards. Had they fought back there? No one else looked like there had been a scrap.

"You're welcome" I slap the phone into his palm and he gives me a haughty thanks before rushes out of the door. I notice the limp.

Tyler doesn't have any glass on him, and no scratches. I look him over as he comes close to me.

"Are you okay?" He sounds genuinely worried. Kate's screeching about Pouges where about and Sarah goes out back to find the other missing two.

"Yeah I'm fine" His eye brow cocks "you elbowed me in the chest a little but I'm good. What happened back there? Is he okay"

"Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to" He's grabbed me right below my shoulder and is angling me to better see my bare upper chest. I'm happy I decided to wear an off the shoulder top, I like his stare on my cleavage.

"Tyler are you okay? And Reid? He looked really upset" I still have Tyler's stuff in my hands and I'm fiddling with the lining of his jacket.

"Yeah he's just pissy. It's his own fault though; he needs to stop starting crap"

"And you?" I look up at him, he still has my arm in his hand and it's as intimate as we'd been all night.

"I'm fine. I feel like a piece of shit for elbowing you but other than that" we meet eyes and I can't help but laugh, a little earnestly, it makes him laugh too. Like were laughing at the irony of it. About how far this was from the 'fun' we'd been talking about earlier. I was starting to think maybe the closest we'd get to sex, or anything relatively near that was in texts messages.

But I've never been this close to him before. He smells strong and spicy, the product of some fancy cologne no doubt. I fantasize about leaning my head just a little bit forward, resting it on his sternum.

"Kayleigh, I'm ready to go. We have to wake up at like seven tomorrow" Cassie's voice breaks me out of the my mind and I pull my lips tight as the two of us break apart, his hand leaving my skin.

I try not seem so disappointed.

My friends walk on ahead of me, leaving the two of us as alone as you could be in a crowded bar and I'm quietly grateful.

"Yeah, yeah okay. I'll be there in a second" I call after them, offering up Tyler his jacket and keys. He looks a little awkward and takes them.

"Thanks for grabbing that for me. Little life saver"

"You're welcome, sir" I'm shrugging back into my leather and olive green coat, flicking my shoulder length out of the back and he's looking at me. And I mean really staring. His cat like eyes following every move.

It makes me feel hot all over.

"What, creep?" I grab my over sized black purse, holding it at the crook of my elbow.

"Nothing, I just…we didn't really get to have any _fun_ tonight" I bite my lip.

"Nope we didn't, but that's kind of your loss. Again" He starts to walk me out of the bar, following behind me as we push our way towards the front door. It's prime time at Nicky's.

"It really is…were going to have to do something alone one of these days" His head is bent toward my ear and I can feel the outline of his body behind mine.

"Maybe" I choke. Fuck, this…electricity building between us. It's been building for so long and I'm hoping it won't fizzle out. I mean I'd only seen him twice since getting back to Ipswich but still!

You don't sext someone for two months and then just be…friends when you see them. It was like the worst, torturous foreplay ever.

"I know you want to" He says and his words and the chilly air sends my body into shivers, goosebumps rising all over.

He's walking beside me now, smiling shit-eatingly at the fact that I can't seem to form words. He's really not the 'baby boy' everyone makes him out to be.

"Hmm, I'll think about it" is all I manage.

"Tease" He's amused though, not pissed like other guys seem to be when I pull this on them.

"Kayleigh!" It's Arlene screaming from across the parking lot, inside Cassie's Lexus already.

"Give me a minute!" I yell back. Oh my god, this is so mortifying.

"Let's fucking gooooo"

"I'm sorry I have the most annoying friends in the world" I apologize.

"No, It's fine. I completely understand. Message me when you're back at the dorms okay?" Tyler leans in and I'm scared he's going to kiss me. I want him to though. I reeeeally, really want him too.

When it turns out to be just a hug, a tight one, but a hug none the less I kind of feel jipped. I walk away without giving him another look.

I knew it. I knew we were going to fizzle out before we even started. It feels a little bit like rejection.

I get in the car and slam the door behind me. Eric's in the back seat too, catching a ride with us back to school.

"Finally" Cassie starts to drive off as soon as the door is shut. "What's wrong with you?"

"He didn't kiss me" I pout, looking out of the window, not wanting to look at anyone or talk about anything.

"What a pussy" Arlene chimes from the front seat.

"I knew he was going to be like this. You guys are shit friends for telling me he was staring at me and stuff" I sound like a child. Well I am a child but whatever.

"Kayleigh, he sent you a picture of his dick, I'm pretty sure he likes you a little bit" Mery reassures and it's completely quiet for a minute, all of us contemplating.

"Was it hard?" Eric asks and the silence is deafening before we all break down into hysterics. Even the spindly boy in the middle laughs at himself a little. I can barely breathe.

"What…the…fuck…is..wrong..with..you" I gasp in between laughs.

"I'm serious okay, I only send limp dick pictures to girls I don't like"

And I feel a little less bad for myself during the ride back to Spencer.

 _ **I love writing these long chapters. Tell me how you like them? The pace? How I'm laying out the characters? I just want to hear you guy's input.**_


	3. Revelations in the Girls Lockeroom

**I'm hoping there's still a fandom for the Covenant(which there better because this movies always been, and is always going to be gold) and that there's some people enjoying this story. The more we go on, the more we'll be finding out about her heritage and why she's been seeing and experiencing the things she's been Give me some feedback, I'd love to hear from you guys!**

School's been in session for a little over a week and the cycle; the pattern of it is already making me want to crawl out of my skin. I feel all over the place, and restricted. At the same time.

I mean my classes are decent this year; AP Lit, Art, and Civics on Mondays and Wednesdays and then on Tuesdays and Thursdays I had Psychology, Calculus, AP Earth Science and a free period before Gym, which thank god they gave at the end of the day because my hair was always wild as fuck after running laps. I learned that the hard way last year when I was running them first thing in the morning and going to the rest of my classes looking like ass.

I was already looking forward to graduation.

"Mrs. Evans is such a bitter bitch, she has writing a five page essay on the most important bills passed in Massachusetts in the last a hundred years. What kind of bullshit" Lilibeth is walking with me through the Halls, bitching as she stares down at the assignment sheet in her open binder.

"I told you not to take honors law and government" I point out and she bumps me, hard, almost into a group of freshman.

"Sorry" I apologize to them before swinging my backpack at her.

It's a Thursday and I'm sitting outside at an empty stone table in the quad. None of my friends had this period free with me so I'd just have to manage being alone.

It's still nice enough in during the day, nowhere near the summertime heat but almost more beautiful. Like you could bask in the sun, but still have a jacket on.

I'd promised myself I was going to use this off period to keep up with my homework and shit but all I was currently doing was scrolling between my social media accounts, my calculus text book sitting idle on the table in front of me.

My facebook session is cut short by an incoming call.

It's just numbers, no saved name and I click end fast, gritting my teeth. Even though I hadn't saved the number I recognized it.

I'd never been…close with my dad. I didn't hate him, or resent him, is what I told myself. I just didn't know him. He and my mom had split when I was a baby and he had a whole other family now. Yeah, it stung that only he lived in Boston and never made any contact but whatever. The way I saw it I had two dead parents.

But it was at her funeral that he, well a part of him came back into my life.

The woman been dressed head to toe in designer, her deep chocolate skin so radiant you couldn't tell her age, and her long inky braids cascading around her shoulders. She let off an aura of power, of leadership. And I'd been drawn to her even before I knew who she was. Or remembered, that is.

She'd approached me at the reception after the open casket.

"Hello, doll. I'm sure you don't remember me" She'd spoken through berry red lips with a southern drawl, as her black glove covered hands removed her oversized sunglasses.

"Sorry" I mutter, the drug induced haze I'd been in at my mother's funeral was shameful. But it had kept me sane.

"Don't be sorry, the last time I saw you, you couldn't even walk. I'm Marie, your great Aunt. On your father's side" I almost give her a duh, considering all of the family members on my mother's side are white. She light's up a cigarette and offers me one, to which I accept almost instantly.

"Why are you here?" I inquire as she lights it for me.

My mom hadn't gotten along with my dad's family. At all. That's one of the reasons I didn't know any of them, she'd forbade me from seeing them, and banned them from seeing me. She never really told me why; except for that they were bad people, people I didn't need in my life. People that even my father hadn't talked to in decades.

"Your mama, she was a firecracker, not always the easiest woman to get along with" I shoot her a warning glare "but she was fiercely protective of her babies, a lioness. A Leo mother through and through. " Hmm, so maybe that's where my obsession with astrology came from, blood bound.

People I don't really know but who seem to know me pass, leaving the funeral all dressed in black interrupt us and I muster a smile as they walk by and touch me. My shoulder, my back, my head.

There had been so much touching that day. My skin was crawling.

"I came to pay my respects and to see you of course" Marie tells me, puffs of smoke rolling out of her mouth.

I don't bullshit her, maybe it's because I'm tired. Maybe it's because I'm pissed that she would show up here when my mom had exiled her my entire life. Or maybe it's because I'm curious.

"Why would you want to see me?" I question, taking a drag and letting it out through my nose.

"There is so much me and you have to talk about, that we should'a talked about it a long time ago, but she wouldn't let me anywhere near you" she being my mom, the woman in the casket.

"And you decided her funeral would be the best place for these shoulda woulda conversations? What's wrong with you?" I snap a little, but I'm too high for it to come out with any venom.

She laughs at me, giving me an impressed once over.

"Well I see you inherited that fire…but there are other things you inherited too. And not from your mother's side. I've been trying to see you for years, she ever tell you that?" Marie asks, her eyes are light. Like mine, maybe not as green, but much lighter then you'd expect from a woman with a complexion as dark as hers.

I just shake my head.

"You shoulda known me, should have known yourself. But she wouldn't let that happen, and I warned her that one day _this_ would happen. And you wouldn't be ready for it"

"I don't fucking remember any of you wanting to know me. At any point in my life. None of you coming to my birthday parties, or seeing you at Christmas. So you can take that bullshit pity excuse and go fuck yourself" I hiss at her and when she laughs at me again I want to throw the lit cigarette in my hand at her face.

When my Aunt Gemma and Grandma start to walk up to us, unease and anger stricken faces clear, Marie puts out the butt of her cigarette on the side of the stone funeral home.

"I think it's time for you to leave" My grandmother warns, the shaking fury in her voice barley concealed.

Marie holds up her hands "Don't worry Ma, I was just leaving. And you" she nods to me "will be hearing from me. I want to get to know you, Kayleigh and trust me, you want to get to know me" and then she's turned on her heel and I stare after her unable to look away.

My Aunt Gemma snatches the still lit cigarette out of my hand and throws it to the ground, stomping it out before dragging me back inside.

I'm brought out my head, out of the memory, by my phone beeping, and flashing that I had 1 new voice mail.

I don't know how Marie had gotten my phone number, but she had been calling me since a few weeks after the funeral. She'd probably called five or six times, and I'd ignored and deleted the voice mails on every one. But I hadn't told anybody about it either. Not my aunt or sisters or friends. And I planned on keeping it that way.

AP Lit wasn't the horriblest of all my classes.

Mr. Kruger was a cool guy, who actually liked to engage with his students and everyone was in this class; Arlene, Cassie, Lilibeth and Eric, but also Kate, Sarah, Pouge, Reid and Tyler.

And Chase, I'm reminded as he grins at me when I'm walking up the auditorium like steps to take my seat next to Cassie.

I don't force myself to smile back. His…vibration just freaks me out. I can't explain it but it shoots up red flags and I wasn't about to ignore that inner voice telling me something about him was off.

I sit next to Cassie and take out my notebooks for the class.

"Your boyfriend's staring at you" Lilibeth reaches over both Cassie and Arlene to whisper to me and I tell her to shut her mouth.

I hadn't really talked to Tyler since the whole Nicky's situation. He'd texted me a couple times, and I'd given him a couple dry responses but other than that, since school started I'd kind of been keeping my distance from him.

"Mr. Danvers, Provost Higgins requests the pleasure of your company after class" Mr. Krueger tells Caleb before he starts in on his lesson, listing contemporary authors on the chalk board.

Caleb in the Provosts office? Getting in trouble? No way. He was probably going to get some medal or something.

"And the last is Stephen King" the chalk stops grating against the board as Mr. Krueger finishes his list.

"Yeah, Dream catcher was the shit" Reid's obnoxious voice rings out and I turn back to glare at him but catch eyes with Tyler, who is sitting right next to the blond instead. I look away quickly and don't see the frown he shoots me.

"Thank you Mr. Garwin, but no my choice is the Shining" and had it been any other professor Reid would have gotten a demerit.

 **You and Tyler still all weird?**

Cassie passes me a note discreetly, pushing it right under my text book.

 **There is no me and Tyler** I scribble back

 **Mmmhmm, you're just salt that he didn't kiss you**

 **Fuck U, I'm not. I'm just being real. I didn't want a relationship in the first place**

When she reads it she rolls her eyes wordlessly.

 **Who said anything about relationships? He's so hot** (she draws a heart that I don't appreciate next to that) **Just fuck him a couple times**

I snort and cover it up with a cough. Trying not to get caught.

 **I was trying mane, but Idk. He's weird** I scribble a little alien by it, and a big frownie face.

 **Keep trying. U guys could make a lot of money if you recorded it** She winks in my direction.

' **Baby faced boy pounds cute chubby girl. I could see the market value** And Cassie reads it and laughs out loud and then quickly stuffs the note under her when the professor asks us what's so funny.

"Nothing, Mr. Krueger, sorry" I apologize to him, fighting a laugh myself.

The rest of the day is fine I guess. Coach McKinley is in a good mood and we do a couple of laps aroud the outdoor track, then he lets us have free sport, which is pretty much code for do whatever the fuck you want but keep on your feet.

"Did you hear that some kid died at the Dells on Friday?" Mery brings up as me, her and Kate walk slow laps around the track, opting to walk instead of playing basket or something.

"No, what the fuck, how?" I question. How messed up, I mean I know those parties could get rowdy, but for someone to die because of it. Jeeze.

"Oh yeah I heard about that. He lived on Reid and Tyler's floor" Kate claims, her long hair pony tail bobs.

"How'd he die?"

"All I know is that they found him in his car" Kate shrugs and as messed up as it is we quickly switch subjects. It's not like we knew the kid, so we move on to other things.

Like how Dan, my ex, is dating Jaclyn Pac, his ex, again. And they both happen to be in this gym class with us.

I wouldn't have been annoyed had he not talked so much shit about her to me this during the duration of our relationship. I was starting to wonder if it had ever even been a relationship at all. As we pass he gives me a cordial smile and she pulls on his arm possessively, her almond eyes hardened into slits.

I give an amused "hmph" and look away. Whatever. They could have each other.

We babble away the whole rest of the period, Kate always has good gossip and it makes the class go by fast. It feels like only five minutes have passed when the bell rings and were in the locker room changing.

I'm wrapped in a towel, pulling my panties back up my legs under it. I didn't hate my body, but I definitely was far from a size two, and wasn't as comfortable with it as some other people.

Like Mery; for example. She had on only a pair of dc comic printed boy shorts, her boobs that were too big for her little body hanging out as she dried her wet hair with a towel.

"Oh yeah, here, look. This is the kid that died Friday" She reaches a paper flyer over to me as I'm adjusting my boobs back into the black lacey bra I'd worn today. I'm well endowed too, but they were at least proportionate to my body. I put on my uniform shirt, the buttons undone and hanging open and I grab the flyer.

My blood runs cold and the stab of surprise as I look down at the paper in my hands is obviously evident on my face.

"What, did you know him?" Mery's voice sounds kind of freaked out.

It's the…demon thing from my dream the other night. Except for it's not a demon, it's a dead kid. He was a real person. I feel a little paralyzed as I think about it. I can't stop looking at the picture, he looks so innocent. Such a far cry from the dark, distorted version of him I'd dreamt about. How did I dream about him? I'd never met him before.

I'd told Mery I had, had a weird fucked up dream but if I told her now that it had been about this dead kid… well I just had a feeling that that wouldn't go over so well.

"Kayleigh" Mery calls me out of my trance and I look up from the kids face to her. But I still see it. Morphing and contorting and turning into smoke.

"I'm fine sorry…It's just weird. And fucked up" I manage around the haze of confusion in my brain.

"Yeah it is…but we didn't even know him so whatever" Mery says slowly and testily, grabbing the paper out of my hands, and stuffing it back into my locker. She looks a little worried.

"Yeah, whatever" I lie, turning back to face my own locker and buttoning up my shirt.

I'd chalked it up to a weird coincidence. That I must have seen him around the hallways before. I'd read somewhere that you couldn't create faces in your mind, that you only dreamed about faces that you'd seen before. So that was it. I'd just seen it before. And it was just a dream.

Just a dream, I repeat to myself.

Mery and I were both sat on my bed back in the dorms; I was listening to her talk about how some guy had already invited her to the Fall Fest. We both had on green tea clay mud masks, and were watching episodes of Game of Thrones on my laptop, my attempt to wind down.

"He's such a burn out though, why do you attract the weirdest fucking people?" I know I sound judgey and stuck up, even before she tells me so.

"Don't be so stuck up, he's nice"

"I guess" I respond, rolling my eyes readjusting so that my legs were kicked over hers. Damn Spencer dorms and their twin beds.

My phone dings, the indication of a text message and I grab it blindly, not taking my eyes away from the carnage of Game of Thrones, off the side table and bring it up to my face.

 _Tyler- Hey_ with a winky face emoji. I just roll my eyes and put it back, face down. But I can't stop the itch I get to reply to him.

"Who is it?"

"Tyler"

"Are you going to text him back?" But she's paying more attention to Jon Snow fighting the white walkers.

Why couldn't I find myself a Jon Snow?

"Nope" I pop the p.

"Liar" Mery accuses.

And I am a liar, because I pick the phone back up after only a couple of minutes and reply.

 _Hi_ I text back simply. Being stand offish without even meaning to.

 _Tyler-What are you doing?_

I check the time; it's eleven thirty, almost midnight.

 _Just watching Netflix with Mery, you?_

It bings back fast.

 _Tyler- Anything interesting?_ He sends first and then a couple seconds later It's followed by _Want to hang out?_

My heart starts to pound. Do I?

Fuck yes I do.

"He wants to hang out" I tell Mery and she chuckles.

"Go hang out with him then! You need to get laid" She inputs and I would argue but she's right.

 _Like right now?_ My fingers type fastI'm already sitting up. Oh my god I look like shit.

 _Tyler- Yes right now(laughing emoji)_

Fuck, I hiss I hop up from the bed. Oh, fuck , fuck, fuck.

 _Give me 20 minutes?_ I text and his response is immediate

 _Tyler-Yeah, I'll meet you in front of your dorm, kay?_

 _Kay_ I respond as I rush over to our small bathroom, and start to furiously scrub off the face mask. My hair is pulled up into a ratty bun, so I turn on my straightener.

"He only gave me twenty minutes fucking a" I curse as I furiously attempt to make myself look decent in the short time span. Thank god I had taken a shower earlier, and even shaved my legs.

"Is your pooka shaved?" Mery calls to me and I laugh as I brush light foundation across my face.

"Who says he's getting any pooka tonight?" I call back and she snorts.

In twenty minutes I manage to change into a cute bra strappy bra, an oversized t-shirt, leggings and one of my baggy gray knit cardigans. Having shorter hair had its advantages because I'd flipped it around a little, ran my straightener through it, also using the hot tool to curl my long bangs back a little and it had that whole deliberate messy vibe to it. Thank god I'd decided to get it cut into a lob(a grief reaction) earlier in the summer.

I put on the bare minimum makeup, concealing and doing my brows. Bronzer, highlighter a couple heavy coats of mascara and a blend of fawn colored eyeshadow. The bathroom is left a total mess.

"Do I look okay?" I quiz my roommate whose still on my bed, totally immersed in the show playing on the laptop as I rub lotion all over my chest.

She looks up at me only for a second "You look good" She offers simply, before going back to her show.

I slather a rose nude shad of liquid lipstick on and my phone dings again.

 _Tyler-I'm outside_

 _Okay, I'll be down in a second_

"Okay, I'll be back. I'm leaving the door unlocked" I inform my roommate as I sling the cross body bag over my shoulder.

"Bye, have fun being a hoe" and I close the door behind me and slink as quietly as I can through the hallway and down the stairs, slightly cursing the fact that my moccasins squeak on linoleum. I don't get caught though. Its half luck, and half the fact that I've snuck out too many times to count since freshman year. I'm pretty much a professional at it by now.

Tyler's waiting for me when exit C dorms, perched against the brick wall, his arms crossed over his chest. It's so dark I can't see the details of him, but I can see that he's wearing a pair of gray sweats and a Spencer swim team hoodie, his dark hair looks messier than usual.

I'm trying so hard to keep a straight head, to not be too excited or eager.

"Hey" He grins a little as I approach. I can see his teeth even in the dark.

"Hello sir" I hesitate, not really knowing what he wanted from me. I mean he was being so confusing; texting me like he wanted me, inviting me places and not paying any attention to me. I really didn't know how to approach this, especially after I'd been kind of icing him out for the last week.

I felt…awkward and nervous and a little bit stupid on top of that.

"I didn't think you were gonna' come" He admits, conforming that he's been able to tell I've been feeling off about him lately.

"You're lucky I had already watched the season of Game of Thrones we were watching" I offer humorously inching closer and his eyes glint as he looks down at me.

He hugs me again then, longer this time. His body's so warm, the cotton of his sweat shirt soft on my cheek. He's always been taller then me, which is an easy feat considering my 5'2 frame, but without the usual heels I have on the height difference is intense. I feel small in his arms. When had his arms gotten so big? Or had I just never had the time to be held by them, long enough to notice them?

It should be weirder that I'm just kind of clinging to him, but his hand is running up and down my back and it keeps me at ease.

"Are you still pissed at me?" He asks and I don't move my head to look at him, I just keep leaning against him.

"I was never pissed at you" It's only half a lie. I hadn't been pissed, I'd been...rejected. And that was worse.

"You sure?" He prods but I'm not going to whine to him. Yes, Tyler, I think. I was pissed at you because it felt like you were rejecting me. Felt like you'd finally realized how hot you are, how out of my league you are.

"Fuck, it's freezing" I hiss instead as a cold gust of air sweeps, making me stand on my tippy toes a little and bury my face in his neck.

"Come on" I really don't want him to let go of me but he does, and takes one long legged step down the concrete steps, still looking back at me.

"Where are we going?" I follow him, and he moves to walk close to me, pressing the side of his body against mine.

"You down to smoke?" And I give him a deadpan look. When was I not down for a bowl or a blunt?

He laughs "I knew you would be, come one" as we walk briskly across the big green lawn, sticking mostly to the building shadows in an attempt not to get caught by one of the security guards.

My stomachs doing summersaults, and I'm hoping that the night would end in more than a smoke sesh.

 **Like my character, I am a bit of a tease. So keep reading to find out what happens.**


	4. White Rabbit

**Another chapter, say what? I'm really thinking about posting this story on other sites as well, I really want some input on it because I feel really good about it. Feel free to share this on you guys' tumblr's with you guy's friends! Thank you for reading.**

We end up in his truck, hidden away in a back lot. The car filled with smoke, making the atmosphere hazy and laid back.

I'm sitting crisscrossed, my legs up on the seat and my back resting against the door so I can completely face him and he has the driver's seat reclined back as far as it can go, and is laid on his side looking at me.

When we'd first got in, he'd pulled out a thick, decent sized blunt. He offers greens to me; even though I insist who ever rolls it should be first in rotation. He persists though, his chivalry winning out.

"How sweet of you, _baby boy"_ I stress the nickname I had heard his friends call him as I strike the lighter and hit the spliff, inhaling deep into my lungs and holding it there.

"Ahh, don't call me that" He's good natured about it, but I can tell he doesn't like it.

"Why, it's cute" I protest as I exhale, passing him the weed, slipping it from my fingers to his.

"No it's not. It's annoying, and I'm older then you" He points out around a big hit and I bark in laughter.

"By three months"

"Still" he pushes, laughing with me. The lower the blunt burns, the higher we get; and the easier it is to talk to him. The conversation flows, it doesn't get stale. Tyler's bubbling and receptive, but quick witted. His sense of humor sharp, no doubt from growing up with the other guys. I'm learning quickly, that he's not nearly as innocent at his reputation and face make him out to be. He lets me play DJ and hook my phone up to his speaker and oldies are floating through the car as I flip on my Pandora station that ranges from the Doors, to Creedence Clearwater Revival, to Jimmi Hendrix.

"I like your taste in music" He bobs his head along playfully with Age of Aquarius as it comes on shuffle. I'm delighted, there's no compliment like someone saying they like your music. Even if he had sounded kind of surprise when he'd said it.

"You're such a Pisces" I giggle, coughing a little on the too big drag I'd taken.

"Woah there, breathe" He reaches his arm over to rub at my side. Everything's so funny, what kind of weed had he given me? I hadn't gotten the giggles from weed in years. "So are we compatible then?"

I look over at him, at his question "What like our signs?"

"Yeah, our signs" He actually seems interested and I force myself to think sober thoughts as I answer him. He still hasn't removed his hand, his arm is still extended over the console, still touching me, and he's dragged it so that it now sits on my lap, resting heavily on my thigh. I turn it in my own hands and play with his long fingers idly.

"Yeah" That's a lie and he seems to know it "Well no…kind of. You're water and I'm air but that's okay. It's just our sun signs anyways" I try to explain to him and the blank look on his face is so endearing it makes me squeeze his digits.

"I don't understand anything you just said" He admits, good natured and I shake my head and assure him that most people don't. "You're really into astrology, huh?"

"Yeah, well not just astrology…tarot and palmistry are cool too"

"Really? You read palms?" He sounds incredulous and I nod "What does mine say?" he quarries.

I lift his hand that I'm still holding with both of mine up higher, and let it rest on my chest as I look down at his upturned palm and run my fingers over it, my thumbs lightly massaging the other side, over the sinews, veins and knuckles.

"What do you see?" He asks, huskily, playfully.

"Hmm….your life line and your fate line start out separate but start to tangle right…here. It's weird, your health line gets all mixed up with them too at that point" I observe, giving him a raised eyebrow. He looks a little…out of it. Maybe surprised, maybe bored. I don't know I'm high.

"What?" I whisper, I don't know why I can't raise my voice, maybe it's because the tension in the car is so thick.

"Nothing, nothing" His voice is graveley and low and I still hold his hand to my chest, a little scared that I've ruined the moment.

"I'm sorry am I freaking you out? I always freak people out with stuff like this" we were in a hot boxed car in the dark. I hope I wasn't making him paranoid.

"No, trust me this shit doesn't scare me at all" green meets blue as we stare at each other. God my stomach keeps dropping and I know he can feel the racing of my heart under his hand.

My playlist switches, White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane starts strumming intensely and hypnotically from the speakers and I bite my lip as his puts his hand flat against my chest, right at my clavicle. Fuck, he's barley touching me and I'm on fire.

"Tyler" It's more breathy and whiny then I meant for it to be as he slides his hand out to lightly hold me by the throat. There's a moment where he just he just stares at me, stares at the situation. I wonder if he's trying to process the image like I am. Tyler Simms, the baby boy, one of the Sons of Ipswich, is currently choking me. I'm so stoned and horny that my body seems to be vibrating, vibrating to the tempo of the song.

He sits up and pulls me forward, towards him, his hand turning to cradle the side of my neck, tucked underneath my hair, and his lips are on mine, He's kissing me…finally fucking kissing me and it's steaming and plush and overwhelming. And needy, because we'd both been leading up to this for so many moths, in so many texts and looks. I grab at him, at his sweater, trying to get closer as the kiss gets deeper, wetter. Fuck, I'm so wet.

His hands grip my waist and pull at one of my legs, and he helps lift me over the divider, and on to his lap. He's so strong, it's such a turn on, the way he could just man handle me. It satisfies something deep and carnal inside of me. He handled me like I was tiny, effortless. It's something that I, as a big girl, didn't experience a lot.

I bump my knee on the gear shift on the way to his lap and hiss into his mouth.

"Oww" I laugh, I have this weird knack for laughing while I'm in pain.

"Oh, fuck" He says between kisses. "I'm sorry, I keep on hurting you" he rubs at my knee, pushing my cardigan down past my shoulders with his other hand.

I shake my head, muttering its fine without separating my mouth from his. When he starts to run his hands under my shirt, I feel a trickle of panic, myself consciousness that I usually try to keep pushed down rings like an alarm in my head. I didn't have a toned stomach or pokey sharp hip bones. I had love handles, I had a tummy. And while I was perfectly okay with myself…I wasn't so sure he was going to be. I mean come on, he had a fucking six pack for god sakes, he was shapely and hard all over. I grab at his wrist, stilling him, trying to get a grip on my thoughts.

"Are you okay?" He wonders eyes frenzied and confused. And I force a smile. I don't know what to say, how to say it. I don't know if he interprets my feelings or he's just horny but he starts to run his hands up my side again, softer this time, dipping under my shirt, grabbing at my waist.

"This bra is so sexy" Tyler whispers, pressing his lips under my ear, my neck, my shoulder, then the middle of my breasts, his face buried in there, nuzzling and pulling on my top and bra, dragging downward to get better access.

I'm just overheating as I'm straddling him, his hair in my hands as I cradle his head closer. He's nipping and sucking at my breasts, taking my nipple and as much of the rest of the globe as he can suck into his mouth. I gasp and grind down hard, trying to spread my legs as much as possible in the confined space. It's almost too much, he's too much. My hips are furiously moving on top of his, him bucking up to meet them as he reaches around and underneath my leggings to paw and squeeze my ass.

He pulls away from my kiss sore bust to look up at me hotly.

"Let me fuck you" he requests as I continue to dryly hump him.

"I don't know" I whisper, my voice airy and childlike as I rub my forehead against his.

"Please" He sounds almost in pain. It's so sexy. All of this is so fucking hot, the way we keeps transferring dominance, the look on his face.

"I don't think you deserve it" I tell him, pecking at his plump lips, continuing to be too soft, to cat like. He grabs my hand that was resting on his shoulder and forces it down his gray sweat pants.

Tyler is hung, like super fucking hung. Like he shouldn't be getting called baby boy with a dick that size hung. It's hard, engorged and velvety and pulsing. I keep my hand inert for a few seconds before running the tips of my nails along the length of him causing him suck uneven breaths through his nose.

"Don't be a tease, Kayleigh, I'm so fucking hard" our foreheads are pressed together, our breathing ragged. I inhale the air he exhales and I'm fucking higher than I've ever been. I swear I could cum, just from this, and he hasn't even touched me yet.

Before I can say, or do anything there's the bright flash of headlights in the distance and Tyler reaches around me to yank the keys out of the ignition and pulls me flat onto him as we try to duck out of eyesight. His sudden movements cause me to completely fall against his chest with my entire weight. One of his hands is pressed against my lower back to keep me there, prohibiting me from propping on my elbows.

"Am I like, crushing you?" I say apologetically and he brushes it off, shooting me an incredulous look.

"No you're fine" his hand slides up higher on my back, almost like a restraint "just keep down"

"Fuck" I whisper as the lights get closer and I put my head in his neck. I really wasn't trying to get in trouble for sneaking out. They suspended kids for shit like this, not to mention the drug paraphernalia; the car is filled with pot smoke and we're both still stoned. We could get in a ton of trouble for this. There's a tense moment when the security car is right behind us, the headlights bright and searching, and I 'm squeezing my eyes shut so tightly it almost hurts.

When the rent a cop passes, the lights fading as it makes its way out of the parking lot I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

Tyler's quiet chuckle makes me smile, I can feel it shake is chest. I sit up, putting my arms on either side of his head and look out of the window. The security car is still in the distance, lingering. Doing it's rounds. I gaze down at him and he's smirking, no doubt from relief but I think he knows what I'm about to say when I reach over and grab my phone.

"Shit, Tyler, it's almost two" I'm shocked at the numbers that stare back at me.

"So?"

"So we have to wake up in four hours" I tell him as I climb off of him and back into the passenger seat. He groans, frustrated, but not hostile.

"You're killing me, smalls" he whines and I laugh as I try to put myself back together, readjust my top on back right.

"I'm sorry but I really don't want to get suspended. And that's if we're lucky. Your car reeks like weed" I try to rationalize and he nods, understanding. But I can see the disappointment in his blue eyes. I know mine mirror his. Fuck my life.

He takes me back to my dorm building, walking me up the stairs and to the main entrance. We're both still kind of…buzzing from what had happened in the car. I'm of course, making wise mouthed cracks because I knew the situation could turn awkward if we let it, and I wasn't into awkward.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" He says, almost questioning. I feel like he's trying to ask, without asking, if I'm going to be an ice bitch at school in the morning.

"Yeah, definitely" I'm not going to be bitchy, or at least I'll make my best attempt. He's satisfied with the answer because instead of the hugs he's been giving me, he reaches down and kisses me; I know he can feel me smile into it. When he tries to deepen it I force myself to pull away and push him in the shoulder, giving him an elvish look. Hadn't we just managed to break this up in the car?

"Goodnight, Tyler" I insist as I stand in the door frame.

"Goodnight, Kayleigh" He says before he turns away, taking the stairs by two and I begrudgingly close the door, shutting him outside. I feel giddy and I fight the urge to squeal. How fucking pathetic, I hiss at myself.

The dorms really are eerie at night, but that comes with the territory. Spencer's and old building, built almost eighty years ago and even with all the restoration and additions they've made to the school it still oozes gothic, Dracula's castle vibes.

I decide to stop in the girls' bathroom as it comes into view, right at the beginning of the hall, figuring I'd just go here instead of waking Mery up by turning on the one in our rooms light. It's of course, completely vacant, just like I assumed it would be at two in the morning.

I'm washing my hands when a feeling of dread tumbles over me in waves and I stare down at my hands in the running water, paralyzed with fear, terrified to look up at the mirror, to see what's behind me. When I raise my eyes, the scream that erupts from my throat doesn't sound like it's mine.

You know how when you watch horror movies, there's always a hundred things you wish you could yell at the dumbass main character? Like don't just stand there, run. Don't just scream; do something. But as the same monster from my dream reflects at me, and then to me as I whirl around to face it, all I can do is wail. It's like I'm frozen as it reaches one ghostly hand towards me and I swear, I know I'm going to die in that moment. Slasher movie style, from a monster in the girl's bathroom. A couple of the ceiling light bulbs shatter and glass rains down as once again, just like in the dream, the apparition disappears in a puff of onyx smoke.

I'm thrown into a full blown panic attack, and I struggle to breath. Struggle to even think as the world begins to feel like it's caving in, like the ground I'm standing on is suddenly is going to disappear from under my feet.

1,2,3,4,5 I start to count, like my therapist had taught me, breathing deep every fifth number, I'm propping myself up against the sinks, trying to fight the feeling of derealization when two girls rush into the bathroom. I know both of them are seniors and in my class, and they do look familiar but I don't know their names. They're decked out in pajamas and they look freaked out. I'm happy it's them and not Brenda, even in my state of panic I'm hoping the DH won't come in.

"Are you okay? What happened? We heard screaming" The taller, dark frizzy haired one questions, her long face apprehensive and worried. She shorter one just looks annoyed, now that she's seen it's not a killer in the dorms; just me. Being loud, waking people up on school nights.

I look at the scene; there's broken glass on the floor, the lighting is now dingy because of the missing bulbs and then there's me, the girl who had just been screaming like a banshee. I wasn't down to be labeled as the psycho girl who was seeing dead kids so I explain it way, trying to untangle the thoughts in my head, trying to give them a normal explanation.

"The light's like shattered for no reason and they scared the fuck out of me" the laugh I give out sounds fake even to my ears "I'm so sorry for waking you guys up" I apologize as I hastily push past them, just trying to get away from the scene.

When I get back to my room, I'm still so shaken I can barely function so I sit at the end of my bed in the darkness, Mery's form motionless on the bed opposite mine, flipped facing away from me. I grab the bottle of Xanax, and strain to see the label on the side. I'm hallucinating. I had to have been hallucinating. These fucking pills were making me hallucinate. I sob as I stare at them, and then I punt them as hard as I can on the hardwood floor.

Mery sleeps like a fucking rock, and doesn't even flinch, sleeping through my silent life crisis.

 **She's not as normal as she thinks she is, is she? I'm trying to make the progression as natural as I can, make it flow. And what about that almost sex scene with Tyler? Listen to White Rabbit during it, I swear it sets the tone so crazily!**


End file.
